


Eurydice

by PunishedPyotr



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M, Necrophilia, Unrequited Love, implied psychotic break, reupload, subtle parallels to Greek myth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 16:32:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13617258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunishedPyotr/pseuds/PunishedPyotr
Summary: There's no happy ending here.





	Eurydice

This couldn’t be happening.

No. His mind refused to accept it.

Mantis, _dead?_

Liquid stood still in the center of the control room, the papers he had - just seconds ago - thrown off the desk in an impulse born of enraged panic spiralling down around him to the floor. He was staring ahead of him, eyes wide and unfocused. He knew he must have an expression of shock on his face still, but he was mostly just perfectly numb.

_How?_

Snake… had he been underestimated?

He realized his lungs had stopped when his edges of his vision started to go dark. He took a deep breath. Slowly, very slowly, he raised his hands and stared at them.

Two of them. There were two of them, still.

How funny.

He almost felt like he’d just been torn in half.

Ocelot clearing his throat behind him brought him back to his senses with a start. “Boss,” he said, “are you…?”

“I’m… fine, Ocelot,” Liquid said, his voice unpleasantly faint, “I just…”

“I realize you two were close, but-“

“I know. I won’t let this- distract me.”

A slight, perhaps sympathetic sigh. “Good. You can mourn later.”

Liquid felt a flash of anger at the word ‘mourn’ but pushed it down. Right. Couldn’t let this distract him. Couldn’t even _think_ about it right now, except in the most shallow, detached, objective terms. Later, he would deal with this _later_.

His hands were shaking. He shoved them into the pockets of his overcoat.

“I just need to go clear my head,” Liquid said, and somehow he felt that he was either shallowly defending himself or making excuses, “I’ll step out for a minute, but I’ll be right back.”

In the reflection of a monitor, Liquid saw Ocelot cock his head noncommittally. “I’ll hold down the fort here, then. And, I suppose, inform everyone else…”

Liquid walked out without responding, or even really listening to, what Ocelot said. He only needed to clear his mind… Just take a quick circuit around the compound, make sure the Genome soldiers weren’t slacking off, hope he didn’t run into Snake because he wouldn’t be able to properly appreciate the battle in his current state of mind.

He didn’t realize he had been walking towards the commander’s room until he was standing in front of the door. He’d barely even realized he’d left the maintenance base.

He put his hand on the doorknob, but hesitated. It was unlikely that Mantis’ body had been retrieved yet - Raven had taken it upon himself to deal with the bodies, but it was unlikely he’d get around to this for hours - but even if it had, Liquid doubted that seeing the place where Mantis had died would really aid him in his goal of forcing all this out of his thoughts. For some reason he remembered when they had first arrived here - when Mantis had taken one look at the commander’s room, Liquid’s new office, and decided that _he_ wanted it instead, and Liquid capitulated the room in about three minutes. Wolf had laughed at him and told him he was whipped, and Liquid had had no counterargument.

Jesus. That had only been a few weeks ago. And now his evil twin was running around and wrecking havoc, Campbell’s niece was with him, Ocelot had lost a hand, both of the VIP hostages were dead, the scientist was missing, a dozen Genome soldiers had been killed, Octopus had died randomly, and Mantis was… was…

They hadn’t gone into this expecting no casualties, though. No one had come here unprepared to lose a comrade or die themselves. It was just- if there was _one person_ who would have survived no matter what happened, it was _Mantis_. He wasn’t much one for direct confrontation - Liquid had been surprised when he said he was going to go harass Snake - and moreover Liquid had never known him to _not_ just _leave_ if and when things started looking bad for him. He had expected Mantis to suddenly disappear and then reappear in some other part of the compound as soon as Snake started firing.

But he hadn’t.

Liquid’s knuckles were white on the doorknob.

He hadn’t retreated. _Why?_

He threw open the door and saw lying there exactly what he expected to see lying there.

Mantis.

Dead.

Very, very dead.

Liquid’s throat and chest felt very, very tight.

He walked over to him- to the body- and looked down. Although Mantis was taller than him, he was only about half his weight, and Liquid had always thought of him as small - and he seemed even smaller in death, small and so very still. His eyes were closed behind his mask and there were open wounds and spots of blood where he’d been shot. The blood was drying now, congealing and becoming tacky, and the room smelled like gunpowder.

“Why?” Liquid asked him.

But of course he didn’t answer. Liquid didn’t expect him to. He was dead and he’d been dead from the moment Liquid had been stopped mid-pace by some great void tearing open inside of him, almost a full minute before the computer caught up and started beeping about vital signs cutting off.

He dropped his coat on the floor behind him. “Why didn’t you retreat?” he said.

He dropped to his knees beside Mantis- beside the corpse, and slipped his fingers under his chin, his touch gentle out of habit, tilting Mantis’ head towards him. “I ordered you to stand down. You were already injured by that point - did I not tell you soon enough…?” Liquid shook his head. “But either way, you ignored me… and now you’re…”

He trailed off. What was the point in saying all this? Mantis wasn’t listening. He couldn’t.

Liquid’s fingers tightened against Mantis’ jaw.

“Why the hell did you ignore me?” he said in a suddenly harsh whisper. “I ordered you to retreat - I _begged!_ He was killing you, and you just _let him!_ ” He growled and he knew it sounded choked but there was no one here to hear it except for the dead body of his best friend. “That’s tantamount to _suicide_ , Mantis-“

His voice broke as he said his name. He pressed on anyway, clenching hard enough that Mantis’ face would have been bruised if any blood had flowed there anymore.

“-that’s tantamount to _betrayal._ How could you _do_ this to me? I _needed_ you, Mantis, and you went off and died and _left me behind_ even though I _still need_ you-“

God, his eyes hurt, and everything was so blurry.

“-I _loved you!!_ ”

The last part came out in a rush, a desperate release of something he’d never before admitted, an angry, wounded snarl of words. Liquid let go of Mantis’ jaw, impatiently wiping at his eyes. _Tears?_ How pathetic of him. And how pathetic of him to have nursed that brainless infatuation with his bonded partner for almost 21 years now, when he knew full well that Mantis _surely_ knew about it but never once did he bring it up, always acting like he didn’t realize the significance of Liquid’s feelings. Maybe he hadn’t.

It didn’t matter either way now, though, as the dead couldn’t love back, and neither could they condemn such a stupid thing as love.

Liquid moved over him, kneeling above his stomach, and reached out for Mantis’ mask. His hands were still shaking slightly - his breathing was caught somewhere in his throat - all he could hear was his own blood rushing in his ears and he knew that he was wasting time, time that he didn’t really have, but he just wanted to at least see Mantis’ face one last time. Seeing his face had been a rare treat in life.

It wasn’t the same in death. Liquid placed the mask on the floor behind him and just stared. It wasn’t the same. There was no life, no feeling here. No slightly embarrassed expression, no irritation at Liquid looking at him, no exaggerated disdain to cover up his insecurities about his scars.

He didn’t know what he had been expecting.

Liquid grit his teeth. Anger was rising up in him again, anger and sadness- no, sadness wasn’t strong enough a word, this was misery, this was despair, this was desolation and heartache and grief and it mixed with his utter _betrayal_ at Mantis’ death in an emotion he had no name for. All he knew was that it was _devastating._

“How could you do this to me?!” he asked again.

Without thinking, he struck the corpse across the face. There was too much give to it. The head simply lolled to the side, unfeeling.

No.

_No._

He didn’t hear himself screaming as he pummeled Mantis’ body with his fists. No one else did, either, judging by the way no one walked in and asked him what was he doing, what was wrong with him. Maybe someone should have. Maybe someone should have stopped him, before he stopped himself.

He stopped himself and just stared at Mantis again, eyes wide, shoulders twitching in repressed dry sobs. Liquid tried to imagining doing that while Mantis was alive, but his mind balked at it. It was really hard to think right now, anyway.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and his mouth felt somehow foreign on his face. “I’m sorry, Mantis. I love you.”

No response.

Liquid thumbed back his eyelids, not knowing what he was looking for, and Mantis’ eyes were the same pale blue as ever, the kind of pale blue that belonged in a high-noon sky, but they were flat and glassy and Mantis was still dead and that wasn’t going to change.

Liquid bit back another sob.

He couldn’t bring himself to close Mantis’ eyes again. They stared senselessly at him, and even though on some level Liquid knew it was just the grief talking, he felt somehow like that blind gaze was _blaming_ him - for starting this whole mess that got Mantis killed, for hitting him, for waiting until he was dead to confess his love, for not being _good enough_ while Mantis was still alive. For every time they’d ever bickered, for every time Liquid had ever snapped at him, for every day they’d ever spent apart, for everything Liquid had ever done _wrong._

“Forgive me,” he choked out.

His body was still faintly warm.

Liquid felt it where he softly rested his hand against Mantis’ neck. His body heat - it wasn’t completely gone yet, but Mantis’ skin cooled beneath his fingers and Liquid leaned closer, wishing he could chase that warmth. Mantis’ mouth was about on the level of Liquid’s eyes - it was open, just a little, and there was a bit of still-slightly-wet blood beaded at the corners.

It was cool against his lips.

How ridiculous of him - to have his first kiss with a corpse. But the corpse belonged to the man he had been pining after for most of his life and the man who would have never accepted this kind of affection while he still drew breath, and to that end Liquid held the sides of Mantis’ head (his touch was gentle again) and tilted it back just enough, and Mantis’ lips fell open a little wider and the kiss got a little deeper, a little hungrier.

The inside of his mouth was still warm and tasted heavily of blood. Liquid unintentionally made some breathy little noise in his throat as he french-kissed Mantis’ carcass.

God, this was fucked up.

He drew back, and Mantis’ dry lips were wet now with his own blood mixed with Liquid’s saliva. It was, despite everything, a pretty sight. Dizzying thoughts were pouring into Liquid’s mind from some deep, dark place, thoughts that he wasn’t doing as much to ignore as he should. Thoughts about how it wasn’t desecration of a corpse if it was an act of love. About how he’d already taken Mantis’ lips, so he was almost _obligated_ to claim his body. To make him _his_ in a way he hadn’t been able to do while he was still alive because it had taken nothing less than Mantis’ abrupt death to serve as a catalyst for Liquid to admit he even wanted to do that-

Because Mantis would never have allowed it in life-

Liquid almost didn’t notice he was rubbing himself against Mantis’ stomach until a shuddering, reluctant moan worked its way out of his mouth.

This was _so_ fucked up.

“Mantis,” Liquid murmured, “I’m really sorry.”

Mantis was dead. He didn’t care.

Liquid slid down his body, seeking friction by grinding against the hard bone of Mantis’ hip, and he groped at cold leather, sticky drying blood smearing on his hands, and buried his head in Mantis’ shoulder. The skin of his neck was too cool, far too cool, where his cheek pressed against it and there was no slight movement of pulse. But the _smell_ \- underneath all the blood, Mantis still smelled the same, like leather and oatmeal soap.

Liquid’s head hurt.

He felt himself getting hard but it was only an uncomfortable pseudo-pleasure at best. He kissed Mantis again, trying to distract himself, but what was the point? Having his other half be so violently ripped away only left an anguish that consumed him from the inside out, and somehow, just for the moment, his only recourse was to mindlessly hump the body. It was easier to just not think, and let the misfiring neurons disguising themselves as instinct take over.

But it wasn’t enough. The insistent heat in his groin demanded that he _take_ Mantis, bury himself in him and leave his seed behind. Liquid didn’t argue. He felt far too conscious of how fast his heart was beating, how hard he was breathing, how Mantis completely lacked either of those things and just stared vacantly up at the ceiling, unblinking, eyes cloudy, pupils dilated unnaturally.

Liquid hurried with the buckles on Mantis’ outfit, unclasping them with hands that were shaking worse than before, and yanked Mantis’ pants down almost to his knees, revealing thin thighs and a limp, neglected penis with chastity piercings, and scant curls of red hair that stood out starkly against Mantis’ sheet-white skin. If Mantis hadn’t been so pale in death, Liquid reflected as he robotically undid his belt and fly, he would have been able to see the mottled pink of old, old burn scars.

He gripped Mantis’ thighs - his hands looked almost alien against them - and pushed them up until Mantis’ knees were pressing against his shoulders, causing his pelvis to angle up. (It probably wouldn’t have been the most comfortable position for him, but he couldn’t complain.) Closing his eyes tightly and taking a shaky breath, Liquid rubbed his cock up against Mantis’ ass, at first just rutting between what little Mantis had to offer in the way of buttcheeks, then finding the hole and forcing himself in. Mantis was wholly limp; there was no need for preparation, and Mantis was beyond the realm of pain anymore anyway.

He was hot inside, not as hot as he should have been but hot enough, and tight, if only by virtue of the fact that he was small (not that ‘virtue’ was a good word to ascribe to the situation). But that was all. There was no pulsing of his heartbeat, no clenching or spasming, no movement to meet or shy away from Liquid’s thrusts. He was just a piece of meat that for now was still relatively warm. Mantis’ body yielded completely to Liquid, and Liquid’s dick hurt, both with unfortunate arousal and the way his skin chafed against Mantis’ unlubed insides.

Liquid doubled down, gripping harder and pumping his hips faster, gritting his teeth and hunching over Mantis. A strangled groan came out of him. Nothing about this really felt good. This wasn’t making love. This barely qualified as fucking.

This was just marking his territory.

“Mantis,” he hissed dazedly. “Mantis… god, I love you… I always have…”

No reply.

Liquid leaned forward and found Mantis’ neck with his mouth and bit down, sinking his teeth into unresisting flesh. He tasted salt and iron but the taste didn’t seem right, didn’t seem like how Mantis was supposed to taste, and he growled. Right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

How it was supposed to go was that Liquid wouldn’t have been such a coward as to hide his feelings for 21 years, and he would just admit the damn thing already, and then he and Mantis would make sweet, tender love befitting of two people who shared the kind of inseparable closeness that they did. Mantis would be reluctant at first, naturally, but he would come around as he realized that Liquid was only possessive of Mantis in the same measure as he was devoted to him, and he would allow Liquid to express that devotion in a physical way, because of course Liquid was a very physical person and all the “I love you”s in the world were just _words_ compared to the act of joining two bodies together. They’d join together and Liquid would be very gentle with him, because he was so physically frail, and Mantis would be _very_ appreciative and when he climaxed, Liquid would be responsible for Mantis’ very first orgasm and it would be an honor, and as they relaxed in the afterglow Liquid would hold him close and for a time, all would be right in the world.

That was how it was _supposed_ to go but Mantis was _fucking dead_ and why? for what? and Liquid felt anger rise in him again as he pounded Mantis’ unfeeling ass faster, harder, clumsier.

“How could- how _could_ you— you left me behind,” Liquid growled, breathing too quickly to articulate properly, “damn it, Mantis - did you really think- did you really think I’d- that I could-“ his words dissolved into moans for a moment or two, “-that I’d be _fine_ without you? I need you, Mantis, I-I fucking n-need you, I love you, y-you’re everything to m-me and you- you- _you_ —“

He made the mistake of opening his eyes and looking into Mantis’ face.

There was no feeling, no life.

A sob broke free. “Why? W-Why, god damn it?” Liquid hid his face against Mantis’ neck, trying to focus on the smell of soap and leather, but all he could smell was his own sweat - and blood, and of course the blood. He couldn’t stand it. “M-Mantis, why did y-you let yourself d-d-die—?”

He cut himself off with a plaintive groan as his orgasm hit him like blunt force trauma, and felt as good as it too. At the same time, his tears finally spilled over, dropping against Mantis’ throat and beading there on ashen skin.

Liquid wiped his eyes, not caring that he was getting blood on his face, but it was no use. The tears wouldn’t stop. He sniffed loudly, his chest and throat aching, and he glanced down to where his dick was still in Mantis and he hated himself a little more.

Why did he do that?

He didn’t have an answer for himself, and Mantis didn’t offer one up, either. Just laid there on the floor, desecrated, beyond care.

Liquid closed his eyes tightly again, willing it all to go away, but after a minute, when he opened them, nothing had changed. Of course. He hadn’t been expecting it to. As much as he would have given _anything_ to not be in this situation right now, he was, and he had to suck it up and deal with it. That was just how life worked. Moreover, it was how _death_ worked. Suck it up. Deal with it.

Don’t think about it.

And if thinking was unavoidable, then only in the most shallow, detached, objective terms.

He cleaned everything up, rearranged Mantis’ body back to how it was when he’d first walked in, and strapped Mantis’ mask back on without allowing himself to take one last look at him. No one had to know about this. No one _would_ know about this. The traces of himself he left inside Mantis would be Liquid’s ugly little secret for the rest of his life, however long that was. He found a hand-mirror in one of the desk drawers and checked himself - his eyes were red and swollen but at least they weren’t watery anymore and considering there was a blizzard raging outside, by the time he got back to the maintenance building no one would be able to guess he had been crying.

His Codec rang, and he forced himself back to business. Whether or not he would mourn later - whether or not he’d decide if this was really betrayal or not when the emotional numbness wore off - wasn’t important right now. Right now he had a job to do and he couldn’t afford to let himself be distracted.

“Wolf has captured Snake,” Ocelot reported. “I’ve got him here in the medical room.”

Liquid couldn’t stop himself from glancing at Mantis’ body. _It’s just an empty shell,_ he reminded himself, looking away from it deliberately.

“Don’t kill him yet,” he said, and he was almost surprised that his voice was steady, “I want him alive…”

**Author's Note:**

> (any and all comments will be forewarded to aireyv! i will either copy/paste their reply to me or they will reply on their own account! have a nice day!!! if you have any questions, just ask!!!!)


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